


Egg Milk Punch

by Dodo



Series: The Cheese Stands Alone [9]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Ultimates
Genre: Crack, Eggnog, Food, M/M, Oblivious Tony Stark, Steve's vivid imagination, sexually repressed steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:27:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21998233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodo/pseuds/Dodo
Summary: It was obscene and yet no one was noticing, Steve didn’t understand how Tony couldn’t feel the thick creamy egg froth on his facial hair, unless he was doing this on purpose.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: The Cheese Stands Alone [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1290185
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30
Collections: POTS (18+) Stony Stocking 2019





	Egg Milk Punch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dodo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodo/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [Dodo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodo/pseuds/Dodo) in the [stony_stocking_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stony_stocking_2019) collection. 



> **prompt fill: Steve finding eggnog in tony's face hair erotic**

The mansion was decked out in festive holiday spirit, Tony seemed to spare no expense. The garland was in fact fresh and real none of the fake plastic plants that Steve had seen around, thinking it had been a posh trend to have fake plants. He didn’t understand it, the point of having a plant was to benefit and water it, fake plants were just green.

He dutifully ignored the mistletoe, making sure to avoid being trapped under it with some of his less than savory teammates. He wasn’t going to kiss hank, ever...maybe sock him again. Jan wouldn’t like that though and he was here to enjoy the libations and ambiance according to Tony. Who was currently chatting up a group of people on the other side of the room.

Steve looked over the fancy, skillful decorated gingerbread houses so picturesque that he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to eat them? There was the Ults mansion and little gingerbread people for each of them. His was massive and out of proportion, his legs weren’t that thick and his chest wasn’t that triangular; and somehow Iron man looked sexy as a cookie. He wasn’t sure how must have been the artist, Tony had probably paid them for this character portrayal.

Steve moved on to the drinks, his plate pretty much empty as most of the finger foods were, well Steve wasn’t sure what they were. Some of them looked suspicious, thinking he’d get Tony to tell him later what the food was and pass it by for now. He wasn’t sure if raw fish was even a thing, it could be that fond dough that Jan had mentioned.

At least he could identify the mulled wine bowl with bits of fruit oranges by the looks of it floating in the deep maroon liquid. It smelled good, but Steve was focused on something else, the eggnog bowl was far more inviting. It was Jarvis’ secret recipe and Tony had talked up the egg milk punch that Steve was actually excited to try it.

It was very thick pouring it from the ladle and cleaning up any parts he spilt he took the cup back to his nook to watch the party. A mouthful pretty much reminded him of Bucky and the men when they’d been offered some eggnog back in the war. It wasn’t the same but it was darn near close and Steve closed his eyes trying to bring himself back to the present. Nostalgia now would hamper him.

“It's good isn’t it?”  
Steve opened his eyes to see Tony grinning down at his. On his festive hat was a sprig of mistletoe. As if Tony need an excuse to kiss all the pretty women at this party.  
“Cheers Steve!”  
Tony knocked his cup against Steve’s and took a long dreg of his eggnog.

Steve was not watching the way Tony’s neck muscles fluttered after each swallow. He didn’t notice the way the adam’s apple bobbed, dutifully ignoring any of the indecent swallowing noise Tony made while doing this little show. Tony smiled and let his cup fall back to his chest, on his mustache was a bit of the egg cream, Steve stared at it. It looked like- no he wasn’t going there.

He didn’t even hear what Tony had to say, mind focused on the clump of white stuck in the facial hair. Was the room hot? It seems unbearably hot all of a sudden now that Tony had left to mingle some more, He didn’t miss the wink though was this cream in the moustache some new get up to get more ladies?

Steve frowned into his eggnog as if it could somehow explain Tony Stark to him. He popped the top two buttons on his polo shirt it was still hot, eyes homing back on Tony who was chatting with Thor. Still with the cream in his beard, and Steve’s mind just died with images of Tony on his knees before him looking hungry but covered in his own spunk instead of egg nog.

Steve stood abruptly, rolling his shoulders and shaking his head. Convinced that Tony was doing this on purpose, how could the other man not feel the wet cream on his upper lip? Why did Steve find it so erotic? He move himself out to the balcony to ask himself the hard questions.

Why was it just Tony? Thor had large amounts of egg froth in his facial hair and yet Steve felt nothing. Why does Tony smile like that at Steve? He never smiles quite the same way to everyone else. Steve rubbed his chin as he looked out over the fresh snow on the lawn, the cold was refreshing to how warm he was. Why is it only Tony that sparks this level of deviance within him?

Of course the most important question comes up as he tries to banish the image of Tony with sloppy ‘eggnog’ all over his face. Why were his pants so tight suddenly? Why did the idea of bending Tony over the horderves table seem like such a good idea? Why hadn’t anyone offer to wipe it off his face surely they have noticed? 

Steve turned back to the party eyes landing on the object of his desires. Tony was chatting up Jan again and she was doing one of those coy smiles over her mulled wine. Steve was sure she knew but it looked like she was enjoying Tony with food on his face more. He did look delectable like that, Steve rubbed his forehead.

He shouldn’t be out in public like this it was wrong, he needed to retire and sort whatever these thoughts were. They could be distracting on the battlefield and they were deeply wrong too, he could not have fantasies of his friend and teammate. 

He dumped his cup, filled up a plate of those fancy what-sits from the food table. He was going to his room, he couldn’t trust himself in this environment with the way his body was reacting. He subtly adjusted his pants just so. As he moved to leave he saw a woman leaned in and lick the cream off Tony’s face. The plate groaned in his hand and he caught himself before he broke the china.

Another emotion reared his head as the woman hung off Tony like she belonged there. Steve grunted an apology at whoever he bumped into as he about faced and stalked to his room, with one question running through his mind on repeat.

How could he find eggnog on Tony Stark erotic?


End file.
